even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
