i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
should my penis look like a turkey
Edward fifth and chaser hands
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
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