I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
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