I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
