You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Randomize
