i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
