i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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