i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Randomize
