She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
