i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Randomize
