how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
