Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Well I just put wine in my tea
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
