I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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