escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
