Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Randomize
