Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Randomize
