Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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