toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
they need to just BURY HIM!
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
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