yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Randomize
