Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Randomize
