I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
