you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
We were destined to go to rehab together
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
