Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Randomize
