This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
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