Where are you?
In a non slutty way
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Randomize
