awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Randomize
