put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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