STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
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