ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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