Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
