she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
there is glitter all over my balls
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
