ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
accomplished twins. life is a go
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Randomize
