Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
