You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
