i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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