the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I don't deserve a penis
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
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