he thought i was a dude.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
