In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize
