He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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