I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
