the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Randomize
