College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Randomize
