He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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