Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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