new low.... made out with someone while peeing
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
