This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
i dont even know how to be here
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Randomize
