Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
I want her autograph on my taint
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
