Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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