If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Randomize
