She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize