Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
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