He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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