Old men and throwing up are my life now.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
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