Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
