I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
