I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
