Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
