too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
