Tell her she can't have a vagina
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
