Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
There was a lot of him and a little penis
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
