What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
