i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Did you just see the Batmobile???
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
Randomize
