I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
