so explain again why im purple
no
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize
