Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
