I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Randomize
