I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
