so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
