I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
i came on her dog
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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