I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
This couple is walking their pig around campus
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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